Stop the Hate
This weeks tragedy at Pulse, a Gay Nightclub in Orlando, saddens me on many levels. It also brings back many of the things I've personally had to deal with and handle as a person and furthermore, as a gay person.
People are speculating and have so many theories and opinions about this tragedy, that can make ones head spin. However, when you think about it on a deeper level, the root cause of this horrible tragedy and many other horrific tragedies and world violence is Hate. Whatever way you like to say it, whether Hate or Hatred, it's the cause of so much negativity and violence existing in the world.
There are basically two types of Hate: Hate for others and Self Hate. Both of these types of Hate are negative and can be dangerous and sometimes deadly. Most of you are more familiar with the first type, Hate for others. It's important to realize though that Self Hate exists, and it can motivate people to manifest self destructive behaviors as well as perform harmful actions towards others.
There are many causes of hate, and this post will focus on few of them.
Society/ Religious Beliefs
We're all faced with societal pressures to be a certain way, to look a certain way or to act a certain way. There are gender stereotypes for both men and women, to behave according to their gender or be subjected to criticism. We're all exposed to advertisements in the media featuring beautiful youthful people, at the perfect weight and having genetically perfect bodies. When you don't fit the certain mold, you can be looked down upon or be exposed to insults from others.
Having been raised a Catholic, I've been directly affected by the church's stance on homosexuality. Thankfully however, I was blessed with a wonderful mother who accepted me and loved me unconditionally, even being a very religious person. She never judged me for anything and always thanked God for giving her a son like me. There were even times that my sweet mother defended me to the church clergy. She opened up a lot of minds in her lifetime for sure.
A couple of years ago, my aunt (my mother's sister), would not even come to a huge life event in my life, because she didn't want to make "God angry and not go to heaven". Mind you, my life event was all centered around the celebration of love and was beautiful. In fact, other people of very strong religious orientation were there and were happy and honored to celebrate our love and be a part of it. Instead of judging us or the event, they focused and continue to focus on love for others and trust that God loves everybody. Personally, I am a very spiritual person, and have my own personal relationship with God and I know he blessed the event. My mother was definitely there with me, in spirit. supporting me and loving me as always.
Society and Religious beliefs can make people treat others in a judgmental way and give people feelings of guilt, shame, unattractiveness, being "not good enough" and feelings of being a "bad" person. For example, I have witnessed many people and politicians expressing hate towards gay people, literally fighting against them, and later on being "outted" as gay and living double lives. I could not help being elated that the truth finally came out into the open.
Feelings of guilt and lack of worth, along with harmful behaviors from others such as bullying and harassment can ultimately result in someone sadly committing suicide .
Jealousy/ Envy
Jealousy towards others and feelings of envy for what others have and you don't, cause people to act in very destructive and downright harmful ways. Again, bullying and ridicule come into play. Also hatred towards others that, in your perception, have more than you do, ruin relationships and cause violent behaviors. As for me, I am always happy for others, and you'll never hear me saying "I'm jealous" to someone who has bought something new or is going on a vacation that I am not able to go on at the moment.
Rage
Rage is extreme feelings of anger towards someone. It can simmer inside of someone and destroy the person's health and life. Rage can also turn into hate and cause people to feel deep hatred towards others, whether temporarily or permanently. Either way, rage can make a generally mild mannered person behave in a potentially violent or scary manner. Road rage is a perfect example, where others commit violent and/ or deadly acts because of what someone "did" to them. There is the feeling of "I'm going to make you pay for what you did to me".
To sum this up, the terrible tragedy in Orlando along with other violent occurrences around the world, ending in harm and/ or death have so much to deal with Hate. Hopefully with more self awareness of the types and causes of hate, we can help to replace Hate with more Love in the world. If it can't be Love right away, it can start with Acceptance, move on to Appreciation and ultimately turn into Love.