Mending Fences is a Joint Effort

Mending Fences is when someone repairs their relationship with another person after being estranged or hurt in some way. This repair may not bring the relationship quite back to the way it was before but it eliminates, or at least, eases the negative emotions that existed between the two parties.

There are some cases where a new understanding comes about between the parties and the two individuals (or families) come together with a stronger bond than before. It not only depends on what caused the rift between the two parties and the severity of what happened but it also depends on the willingness of both parties to make amends and move forward.

There are many reasons to mend fences with someone else and repair the relationship. Some possibilities are:

Illness (Yours or the other person)
Age (Emotional Maturity or Old Age)
A new outlook on life (Self discovery or Increased Positivity)
To fulfill a request for another loved one (To make him or her happy)
To seek forgiveness for past mistakes or misdeeds
To release yourself from negativity in order to feel happier

Whatever the reason is behind someone wanting to mend fences , there needs to be a joint effort from both or all parties.

If you're the one initiating the process, by making the first move, it'll show that you are the stronger and more proactive person. Contacting the other person or party after a long period has passed, requires courage and strength. It shows your maturity by willingness to overcome your pride and stubbornness in order to move forward in a positive way.

After you've made the initial contact, it will then depend on the other person to move the effort forward. It may take a couple or a few attempts on your part, before the other person or party budges.

If the other person has not reached the same level of understanding and does not have the ability nor desire to put negative feelings in the past, it can be a difficult undertaking for you.

They may still be at the same point mentally and emotionally, that they were at when you initially had the falling out. Up till this point, you may have thought it was your fault that the relationship went sour, but in fact it could have been them that caused it to happen. If they are still refusing to talk through things or even just to do something for another person's sake, it is very telling. It may be impossible to mend fences in this case.

For there to be any mending of fences, there needs to be mutual forgiveness and an effort to move forward with a more positive and healing relationship. Each party must be able to move forward without judgment and without blame.

There are times, depending on the parties involved, that it's wise to not bring up or rehash what happened in the past. Doing that, might bring back the anger and hostility that was there when things went awry. Sometimes words are not necessary, but sometimes they are.

If the other party is receptive to moving forward, tread carefully as there needs to be a rebuilding of trust, understanding and comfort between everyone involved. One very important thing to remember is that each party MUST NOT make the same mistakes that damaged the relationship in the first place- or the repairing of the relationship cannot happen.

Some important takeaways from this would be:

If you have made the initiative to mend fences with someone, feel good about it, whether the other party is receptive or not.
If the other party is receptive and both parties move forward with a renewed relationship- Great!!! Who really wants negativity in their lives robbing them of valuable loving relationships?
If the other party is not receptive or possesses the same personality traits or behaviors that damaged your relationship, you can feel better about moving on without them, with an enlightened mind and heart. We only really want to have positive people around us, who enhance our lives and don't make us unhappy and/ or damage our self esteem.

Cheers to Mending Fences...or to at least making an effort to do so!